The Blog - Where Business Collides with Human Nature

Quoth Google… Nevermore – by Bill Romer

Some ask... what if people of genius could be reborn and live today? What would they say?  Bill Romer has the answer. Bill's AMAZING gifted style has reached deep into the psych of Edgar Allen Poe. Here are Bill Romer's creative juices flowing:

what if people of genius could be reborn and live today?Quoth Google... Nevermore    - by Bill Romer

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a hyped and oversold product of internet fame,
While I nodded, kind of sleeping, suddenly my computer beeping,
As if some virtual sales assistant was calling out my name.
"‘Tis some gimmic," I muttered, "flashing on my screen -
Plenty of these things I have seen."

Ah, distinctly I can proudly say it was early in the month of May,
That I schemed and toiled to improve my lot in life.
Eagerly I launched campaigns; - watching as they flopped in vain,
From greed, whose desperate influence smothered all my thoughts of helping others -
Until the useful information I finally dispensed
Rewarded me with dollars and sense.

And the pixelated numbers of my AdWords dashboard
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic visions only dreamed before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
"‘Tis some fluke of cyberspace leading me down the primrose path -
Some bot or spammer leading me down the primrose path; -
This it is, not incorrect math."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Google," said I, "or Clickbank, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was testing, and my click-through rates are so arresting,
And so quickly the commissions came flowing, flowing through my Clickbank door,
That I scarce believe it to be true" - here I stopped again once more; -
Logged in again, and found still more.

Deep into my laptop peering, long I sat there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no marketer ever dared to dream before
But the income was unbroken, and this was cash, not tokens,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "More!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "More!"
Merely this - I wanted more.

Open here I popped my email, when, while watching continued sales,
In there came a stately message of the corporate days of yore.
Not the least reason gave they; not something that made my day;
But, with not so many words, simply said what was fine before
Is no longer allowed and will be permitted no more -
Reviewed, suspended, and nothing more.

"Google!" said I, "thing of evil! - profit killer, if beast or devil! -
Whether lawyers sent, or whether random robots sent thee here once more.
Desperate yet not felonious, my ads and landing page so harmonious -
My URLs are not erroneous - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is this a slap in Google-land? - tell me - tell me, I implore!"
Quoth Google, "Nevermore."

And Google, never faltering, AdWords campaigns still is altering
In the pallid dust of cyberspace, where webmasters yearn for more and more
And its bots have all the knowing of a web that just keeps growing,
And no tools are even showing secrets that it has in store;
And my campaigns from out that shadow that has brought me down before
Shall be Google-slapped - nevermore?

- Bill Romer

Bill Romer from



Topics: Internet Marketing