In the way
There are four types of people.
- In the way.
- Holding you back.
- Out of the way.
- Helping you out.
This is true regardless of whether they love you, hate you, respect you, have you on a pedestal, are related, part of the staff or your boss. (Human Resources is about "helping" but then why do so many believe HR is "in the way" more often?)
One minute the person you have a relationship with is trying to help but is actually "in the way". A few minutes later she tries to stay "out of the way" but does not realize she has the keys and ends up "holding you back."
With this being true for business or personal lives, the day can be an obstacle course to avoid (or fight) those who are holding you back or are in the way.
If you were to avoid "feelings" and make an evaluation as to whether someone cared about you based on the four types of people, would this change how you go about your day? Would it change who you connect with and the relationships you have?
For an entrepreneur, it feels as if there is high resistance with each connection and there are not so many who are helping out but instead have their hand out. After all, the entrepreneur is the decision maker, the boss, the big kahuna, and most importantly, the entrepreneur is the check writer.
On the other hand, over-enthusiastic entrepreneurs who are trying to be helpful might actually be "in the way" of the people they are trying to help.
Are you helpful? How do you know?
Are you hanging with those who are helpful? If not, then why not?
The reason you are stuck may have nothing to do with your skill or will. The solution may be as close as increasing the time you spend with those who help or staying out of the way.
People who show admiration, love and respect probably believe they are "helping". Time for you to find a way to break it to them and save the relationship.
Homework: Make a list of those on your staff, vendors, coaches, and those you work for. What type of person are they to you?
If those on your list are not helpful and "staying out of the way" then I ask you; why would they want to get in your way or hold you back?
It's time for a chat to either clear the air or thank the people who are supportive.
You might feel that you are helping by being dominate and bossy as that ensures success. Or is the consequence of your leadership style simply one that trains people how to be a soldier and do what they are told? Is that helpful?