Tips for Those Who Can't Engage Conversations on Social Media

Listen to Audio MP3  

I have a magic answer for you to the question:

“What do you suggest to someone who finds it hard to engage people in conversations on social media?   Sometimes I feel like a digital leper…”

Even though:

• The question could mean it is hard for you to create the contact.
• Or it could be referencing that people do not respond to you when you make the attempt.

Here is the magic answer:

Listen first.  Listen hard.  Listen carefully.

In my recommended reading, Stephen Covey says: “Seek first to understand, then be understood.”  This applies to the social media tools as well as other types of online and off-line interactions.  (This concept is also in the Prayer of Saint Francis).

I have an advantage after being in the restaurant business.

Success was dependent on the ability to watch people, listen between the lines, and anticipate needs/wants before they speak.

This is more difficult via social media as people are jabbering in an attempt to get attention.  Sometimes they will say something honest, genuine, and from the heart.  When they do?  You give them a hand.

Think of it like a restaurant (or any large public gathering for that matter).  You are wandering through the the public or dining area.

Everyone is jabbering (about whatever).

• Then someone has a spill.

  o    Do you help?  Or pass on by?
  

• Someone has too much to carry.

  o    Do you help?  Or pass on by?
  

• You try to talk to folks at a table deep in their own conversation?

  o    They will look up and give a blank stare and go back to yakking.
  

• Online, people have a question about a specific thing.

  o    Do you help?  Or do you pass by?

• The person you help to find or fix something...is now your new “friend”.

The puzzle?  Is anyone good enough and "in-tune" enough to help the person in need?  Be good enough to offer value first.  Be trustworthy enough that you will do what you promise.

Do you have a system, process, or book available for purchase (or free + premium) so a new friend can take more of what you have to offer with them?

• I am sure you already have Google Alerts set up for your name, key words, etc., don't you?
  
• And you are in tune to Google Trends page?
• And you listen to the questions on Twitter, LinkedIn, Plaxo and the like?
• Along with forums, too?
• When you answer questions for those who are in need, do you incorporate information from your site?  
• They see your answer and will consider whether you offer value. 
  

If you are a fake?  An opportunist?  A sales person?  They will know.

If you are a person with a passion, a vision and mission?  That will come out and some will get on board.

If you are a person looking for the next transaction?  Pretty easy to know this as well.

It is best for businesses to not use the tools the same as an individual does for socializing (which is what businesses fail to understand). 

A strength of social media tools is that they allow you, as a business owner, to listen well, make better decisions, and connect with current / past customers while extending a hand to those in need.  Social Media tools are like any social tool, they are temporary points of contact.  This point of contact is as rich and meaningful as your relationship already is. 

So you are not a leper.  Nor is anyone.  It is just that 99% of the people are concerned about their lifestyle, their time, their health, their money, their glory, their ego, their family. their control, and their life after death.  

Do you have a system or tool whereby they might benefit?  Then you have their attention.  Let them know with Social Media tools that you have something they are looking for.  You become a star as you make their lives best.

Social Media can help you let others know that you can help them out of their frump.  (I think Kate Phillips from Total Wealth Coaching would like that word.)

You will see businesses who are using the social media tools to broadcast.  For a big brand, well known, already trusted business?  Could work fine. 

For most small businesses the journey is:  Listen First.  Then respond and help those in need.  Maybe a few of those will like what you do.  If they don’t you still create smiles and value.   Just be sure to have a system, book, process, thingamajig they can click and say, "I want that."How can you listen? 

•  Guestpulse for restaurants.
•  Blogs and forums.
•  SocialOomph gives you Twitter Alerts.
•  And the very best?  Ask someone personally, just as you asked me. 
  
•  Missing people contact? Check out Biznik.
•  Need a marketing planning calendar?

There are so many options to listen and assist.
This was not so much about the social media tools, it was about the mind set.  Disagree?  Shout it out!  Be heard in the comment below.