The Blog - Where Business Collides with Human Nature

Consideration, Respect and the Devil

consideration respect devil

Don't talk to sales people, they are the devil.  If you act like a sales person, people will think you are the devil.  Labeling people is detrimental to good relationships.  It is a bit like saying "all blondes are dumb" or "all accountants are boring".  If you label people, you are the devil.

Sales people can seem like the devil.  So can entrepreneurs who are too focused, marketing strategists who don't connect well, working mothers who are over their head or someone who is having chronic health issues.

People who are:

  • Desperate
  • With low confidence
  • Hiding reality (dishonest)
  • Stressed - (Anxiety)
  • Getting a divorce
  • Unhealthy
  • Overwhelmed
  • Inexperienced
  • Mean by nature
  • Selfish
  • Have addictions
  • On drugs
  • Pregnant
  • Arrogant
  • Bullies
  • Depressed
  • Confused
  • Laser focused (to a point of unbalance)
  • Don't care

... can be the devil.  

It matters little about the role they have.  Sales people are more obvious because they are required to make contact.  Think about about a supervisor in a factory that you would have no contact with.  They could be "the devil".  Consider someone who works for you or a peer. You may be the only one aware that in reality, they are the devil. - Coined phrase is from the movie "Waterboy" as seen in this video:

Those who are perceived to be "the devil" are those who do not give consideration and respect to others.  

You may hear, or give a message such as:

"I do it this way.  You need to change."

"You don't matter."

"My opinion is better than yours."

"Shut up, I am talking."

"Why won't you agree with me?"

"Don't do that.  You are being dumb."

More important than words is body language, tone and even the timing. Those who interrupt frequently to insert their opinion can be annoying and potentially the devil if the tone and body language says "Me first".  It doesn't take long to understand who these people are.  They are so focused on themselves, their work, their stress and their happiness that they need no one else to help them.  

Entrepreneurs will always have days where they are perceived as annoying, disruptive and difficult.  Intrapreneurs are not an exception as they too must blaze new trails and attempt to do the impossible.  When the whole world appears to be resisting, a savvy leader understands if and when robust dialogue is be necessary.  

If you sit in rooms similar to those I sit in, you will see awesome people with talent more than willing to discover new ideas.  When each of them give mutual consideration and respect to each other, there can be a potential stall as it becomes a big fan club.  Everyone appreciating each other and no one stepping on any toes may lead to no conclusion or direction.  Committees which are mutual fan clubs require a leader who understands how to empower, appreciate, draw out the expertise and make a decision while giving consideration and respect.  

Too often the person who becomes a leader of such a group just may be perceived as "the devil".  Such a leader might be someone who is more of a bulldozer than a team builder and is given courtesy and respect by the others because of the quality of their character.  In this case, no one will speak up.  It is against their nature since giving consideration and respect is too important.  You may be that courteous person who does not speak up?  

Questions:

How often do you become the devil?  Can you recognize those moments?

Do you have a go-to person you trust who will say "you went over the line"?

Do you have specific people who debrief you and are 100% honest?

Do you hire and/or collaborate with people who give consideration and respect?

Do you sharpen your sword each day to better understand yourself and others?

Do you listen carefully to those who are "generous skeptics"? 

I have been "the devil" and have been blessed with great friends and staff who called me out to say: "Mike, you are over the line".  They changed my life, helped me build teams, double sales and continue to do so.  For those of us who get over-enthusiastic and only see an end goal, we need people to help us be more aware of how we connect and have impact on others.

It is said "You are who you conspire to create success with."  It is not sales people you should avoid.  Instead avoid those people who consistently fail to give consideration and respect.  They have no time for you as they focus on themselves.

Going down the list of amazing people who are in my circle as both friends and trusted advisors, they are appreciated because of how they generously give consideration and respect to others.  

How about you?

Topics: Sales Deep Thoughts Leadership Communication